


in the stars, down the styx

by mossymoon



Series: bury me in marley [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Compliant, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Sweethearts, Doomed Relationship, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Inspired by a Mitski Song, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Marley (Shingeki no Kyojin), One Shot, Paradis Island (Shingeki no Kyojin), Pre-Canon, Reader-Insert, S2 - S4 spoilers, Short One Shot, Spoilers, Star-crossed, Stargazing, Title from a Mitski Song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28831785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mossymoon/pseuds/mossymoon
Summary: bertholdt made a promise to you, a vow that never once slipped his mind during all his years on paradis. he could remember your face like it was yesterday.
Relationships: Bertolt Hoover & Reader, Bertolt Hoover/Reader, Bertolt Hoover/You
Series: bury me in marley [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113986
Comments: 15
Kudos: 78





	in the stars, down the styx

**Author's Note:**

> spoiler warning for seasons two thru four !! this was inspired by "carry me out", pls enjoy !

" _what do you think when you look up at the stars?_ "

he could remember that moment like it was yesterday—he could smell the cool evening breeze that had been whispering through the field that night, feel the flattened grass and firm ground pressing onto his back, hear that dreamy, almost faraway tone that you broke the silence with.

the official farewell ceremony was tomorrow, he'd been pulled in every which way for the past week by doting civilians, snappy military officers, and spent what little free time he had left over with his father, who could barely look at him without weeping, tears that made bertholdt feel a forlorn pang echo through his chest despite the pride that shone in his eyes. but that night, you'd come knocking at his bedroom window at an ungodly hour of the night, nearly startling him out of bed before he scrambled to unlatch it and push it open.

you didn't even give him a chance to question your unexpected appearance before you were leaning into his bedroom through the open frame, grinning impishly as you spoke. " _get dressed, we're going on an adventure!_ "

you'd always been the unruly one in your friendship, constantly sticking your nose where it didn't belong, dragging him along for the ride when you could and the subsequent retreat that came when you were inevitably caught. but even when you were being scolded, or threatened with severe punishment, or dragged away by the arm by your mother, that infectiously jubilant smile never left your face, an eternal childish sparkle gleaming in your eyes. he always enjoyed your company, despite the trouble you brought. you never asked about the warrior program like the other children in his neighborhood, never worshipped him as a grand hero nor tried to prove to him that you were somehow above him in any way—you were just pleased to have someone to run about the streets of your hometown with you, even if it was only for a few days out of any given month.

he was sure you knew just as well as anyone that his mission would take years, and that he wouldn't return for a very long time, if he even returned at all. so instead of his usual routine of trying to talk you out of whatever scheme you'd concocted for the two of you, he simply nodded, quickly pulling on a jacket and slipping into his shoes before he climbed out of his window to join you outside, quietly shutting it behind him and hoping his father didn't wake up to come check on him.

his reply to your question had been simple, and he regretted how matter-of-fact he had been. " _when i look up at the stars, i think of what they taught me in my science class. the stars are big, and they're far away, and the only one we can see in the daytime is the sun._ "

you had hummed in reply, staying silent for a moment as you gazed up at the cloudless night sky. there was a modest distance between the two of you, but your spread arms left your hands nearly touching, the warmth of you just barely reaching his skin. " _when i look up at the stars, i think of all the people that i love._ "

he realized what had been wrong in that moment. you were far too calm, too quiet and small beside him, voice beginning to waver like a flickering flame.

" _i don't know that many people, but even if i did, there'd be enough stars in the sky for all of them_." your hand came into view, pointing in the vast, twinkling firmament hanging above you. " _that one right there is for my mother, and that's for my father, then my grandmother, my grandfather.._ "

your finger strayed from the cluster you'd been naming off for the members of your family, settling on what seemed to be the brightest star of them all, barely speaking at a whisper. " _and that one is for you._ "

he felt heat flush his pale cheeks, wide eyes gazing up at the star— _his_ star. the flutter that had brought a light airiness to his chest faltered at the sound of your quiet sniffle, turning his head to the side just in time to catch the tear that slid down the side of your face and into your hair. you let out a weak giggle, your hand falling back down to rest at your side as you turned in the grass to face him. you were crying, soft features strained with such an unfamiliar sadness, but still you managed a wobbly smile, a hopeful gleam prevailing in your shining eyes.

" _that island is so far away.. outside of liberio, all the way across the ocean, might as well be a whole different world than the one we live in._ " your fingers brushed over his, curling easily around them, " _but no matter where you are, we'll always be under the same sky, right? we'll always see the same stars._ "

he barely managed a nod, wanting to burn the image of your face into his mind forever so he could never forget how you looked in this moment, hand squeezing tighter around yours. you scrubbed over your eyes with the back of your free hand, wiping away the wet streaks glimmering on your cheeks.

" _come back soon, alright?_ " you told him, softly, the evening breeze carrying your words out into the unwavering sky.

\--

bertholdt lay out on the open plain, just a short trek away from the cadet dormitories, gazing up at the clouded sky in the hopes that the overcast would part just enough for him to see the stars. he wondered what you were doing right now, what you looked like, whether you even remembered him and his star or not.

it'd been four years since he'd last seen you, he was sure that you had grown up much like he had in all that time, and he wouldn't hold it against you if you only thought of him as some distant memory. but he couldn't help but cling to that final image of you, that wordless promise he'd made to return if only for the sake of seeing you once more before he died. he had accepted that he would never get to experience the true joys of life, that he would never get to live out his days in peace as he'd so naively fantasized of as a child.

he watched the thick clouds drift aimlessly above him, still searching for just the smallest opening between them. "i wonder if it's cloudy in liberio, too." he spoke out into the silence, feeling the gentle wind flutter through the dark hair resting over his forehead.

he couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips when he finally caught a glimpse of the shining sky through grey, the small gap slowly but surely opening up to reveal just what he'd been searching for since he woken up so abruptly, lashes and cheeks wet with tears that he thought he only dreamt of shedding.

there, just before him, gleamed his star, just as bright as the night you'd gifted it to him. his hand was reaching for it, forefinger just barely grazing over it in his vision, drifting across to a smaller, equally radiant star just beside it. _your_ star. you didn't know it was yours yet, but he would make it home to tell you, he had to make sure you knew.

 _what do you think of when you look up at the stars?_

your words echoed across his mind, voice fading as the sky fell dark once again.

"i think of the person i love." he answered into the cool night air—to you—in the hopes that you would hear it in the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> so,, i've recently been hyperfixating on both mitski and snk, so i had the bright idea to put the things in my life that hurt so good together and make this little series ! you can probably guess from the name that it'll be warrior-exclusive, they all hold such a special place in my heart (つω`｡)


End file.
